Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios

(Ay, I have to give credit to Gingmaganda for this title . Ayan. Credit. hahaha.)

I'd say it's just one of those days.

When you feel like a total fool.

A mismatch.

You trudge through the chores of working life

You get paid for things you don't even get pleasure from.

Like prostitutes. Oh fekk that, maybe worse.

So you think of other ways to divert your sad state.

Temporary drugs to keep you going.

Your body maybe willing, but your soul--MIA.

Then you think of escapes, of so-called 'dream sequences'.

You just want something you 'want'. You like. You are passionate for.

I don't think such indicates what I'm doing right now.

And calls have to be made. Soon.

When I grow up

I will play really really hard.

I will make sure I enjoy whatever Im doing for the day.

I will appreciate blue skies and sails more often.

I will dance along bands, playing on cobbled streets.

I will be wise enough to understand simple joy of doing things together.

Everything by my LC-A+ "minerva".

cos we're lomo like that.

Nakakapagod din

Kanina, sa balita:

Sanggol, tinago ng 17 year old nyang nanay sa washing machine, 'under a pile of clothes'.
Ni hindi nalaman ng nanay ng dalagita na buntis at nanganak sa 'toilet bowl' ang kanyang anak.

Noong New Year's Eve party sa Sentosa, babae minolestiya ng 'mga foreigners'.
'Eh, ginusto nya yun eh, magbi-bikini bikini sya (sa beach party), tapos lalapit lapit sya sa kanila na tila nag eenjoy'.
'Ayan, yan ang nagagawa ng mga 'foreign talent' sa atin'.

Sabi nang amo ko minsan:

'It's different here. This is not like where you came from. We work differently, unlike where you came from'.

Actually, this is already a repeat. Pangalawang taong nagsabi sa akin. Nagbitiw ako sa trabaho nung unang nangyari ito. At wala ako nasabi. Pangalwang beses na. Natawa lang ako. Masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari eh.

Sana sinabi kong 'I don't really have much work experience from 'where I came from'. I worked in Singapore, my whole career life'. Na tama naman. Straight facts.

Sana binigyan ako ng gift of gab at quick thinking sa mga panahon na ganito. May part sa akin na gustong magsalita kasi ng masakit, o mamersonal. Kaso hindi naman naman ako ganon. Hindi ako magsasalita ng basta basta. But not all people are like that.

So. Kamusta ang buhay mo?

The geek in me has urges

"(Subaltern is not).. just a classy word for oppressed, for Other, for somebody who's not getting a piece of the pie....In postcolonial terms, everything that has limited or no access to the cultural imperialism is subaltern - a space of difference. Now who would say that's just the oppressed? The working class is oppressed. It's not subaltern....Many people want to claim subalternity. They are the least interesting and the most dangerous. I mean, just by being a discriminated-against minority on the university campus, they don't need the word ‘subaltern’...They should see what the mechanics of the discrimination are. They're within the hegemonic discourse wanting a piece of the pie and not being allowed, so let them speak, use the hegemonic discourse. They should not call themselves subaltern.”" -Spivak

de Kock, Leon. “Interview With Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak: New Nation Writers Conference in South Africa.” A Review of International English Literature. 23(3) 1992: 29-47

Looking

Im still in the process of finding a monthly planner that best suits me. I've been going around the island, and Im almost resigning to the fact that for 2009, no one working under procurement has humour nor taste. Im on the brink of calling my mother for good old papemelroti, pramis. We're going to orchard tonight, and I'm giving the stationery industry two more days ultimatum. Yesterday's selections were waaay better. Last night a sales lady tried convincing me that calendar notebook planners with more than 12 pages (a thick book.. omaygas) are the rage these days. That, and cross selling those with cute, fluffy characters compensating for the loss of good engrish grammar. Monthly planners are serious business, people! You'll have to stick with them for a year or so. In the first place, I just wanted a calendar that's inside a notebook, with big boxes per day, that's also light and very thin, and soft bound. No springs for me, as they don't really last. Not in my bag.

This is what I had with me for 2009. Imagine how it still manages to surprise me and make me smile.

and being a person with very immature and specific wants...

this is what i want for 2010.