first love never dies (a.k.a. ikaw na ang magbigay ng title pag jologs mode ka)

dediketed to my future children.

I've been catching up on my reading.
Yun pala ang epekto nang walang TV sa bahay. haha.

I love to read. I discovered this cheap thrill when I was five. At ang instant favourite reading material ko ay Readers Digest, lalo na yung section na 'Laughter, the Best Medicine' at 'All in a Days Work'. Aba, niyayabang ng nanay ko yan--I may be laziest and most careless kindergarten student (5 yrs old=kinder) she's ever met, but it's undeniable that I can lap up reading materials such as this. Siguro alam na nyang weirdo ako, maliit palang ako.

When my mother passed away, she probably took the RDs with her. Yung buong subscription. By that time I have ventured into other books and playmates. By then I made friends with Jessica, Elizabeth and Todd Wikins from Sweet Valley. Mula SW Kids to university yun-- nagkapalit palit na sila ng boy friend, at nag asawa na. Mag susyalera ang mga kaklase ko nun sa St.Paul's Pasig, kaya nabuhay ako sa pahiram hiram at book swaps. I left Sweet Valley at the age of eight, probably right after my mother's passing, followed by our relocating to a new life in Laguna. Grade four ako nung na-discover ko ang adult books stash sa bahay (nothing to do with adult as in bastos ha). May mga libro (tulad ng Danielle Steele) na mukhang off limits, at saka ko nalang malalaman na siguro kasi madaming hubaran at lovey-dovey dito. At dahil sa mga off limits na yan, iisang libro lang (yata) ang puwede kong basahin, at iyon ay isang hardback copy ng 'Memories of Midnight' ni Sidney Sheldon. Josko, tuwang tuwa ako sa libro na ito. Habang ang mga kaklase ko ay panay 'Nancy Drew' at 'Hardy Boys' ang sina submit na book reports, ako ay taon-taong nagbibigay ulat tungkol sa iba ibang nobela ni Sidney Sheldon. Nandyan ang vengeful na 'Rage of Angels', 'The Other Side of Midnight' at full of inspiration na 'Master of the Game'; ang ambitious na si Lara Cameron sa 'Stars Shine Down', ang tatlong madre sa 'Sands of Time' at madami pang iba. Buti nalang at binasa ko si Sheldon bago si Danielle Steele (actually, wala pa akong Danielle Steele na natapos, at inaantok ako sa kanya). Hanggang ngayon, Sheldon is still my favourite tabloid writer. harhar. Although I have to admit--mas okay yung mga nauna nyang novels, kesa sa mga bago nyang sinulat, tulad ng 'The Sky is Falling' or 'Are you Afraid of the Dark?'. Parang nung binasa ko yung dalawa na yun, alam kong retirement-mode na sya (by the way, he died last 2007, bless his soul). Bukod kay Sheldon, ang isa ko pang gustong manunulat ay si Grisham. Siguro sya at si Ally Mc Beal ang nagkukumbinsi sa akin nung mga panahon na yon, na mag abugasya. May Grisham collection din ako, kasi si Jay--knowing that I love to read, would buy them for me when he was already in Singapore, at struggling college student ako sa UST. He'll usually send them to me in bulk, and I usually read them on summer vacations. My favourite Grisham novel will have to be 'The Partner', kasi astig ito masyado. Kwento sya ng conspiracy at deceit at long term strat planning. Umaga na akong matulog nung binabasa ko ito. Then, there's Stephen King-- na pota, salamat sa kanya at ni celebrate ko ang pasko nung 1997 na takot na takot. Christmas vacation kasi nung sinimulan ko ang 'IT'. Madalas akong magbasa sa madidilim na lugar (bad habit), at dahil dyan tinakot lang naman ako nitong payaso na mental na pucha--nangunguha at pumapatay ng bata. Hindi ako nakatulog ng ilang araw dyan, leche sya. Mula 'nun, he became an instant favourite. I've been reading his 'On Writing' book for a year now. Hindi ako matapos tapos. haha.

I have a new favourite. Si Gaiman. I've only read two of his novels (na ewan ko kung pang-kiddy talaga, kasi medyo disturbing yung ibang scenes. Pero ayun nga sa isang short-story character nya, who are we to purport reality for the sake of 'guarding 'the innocence of a child? Para bang Brothers Grimm, kung saan they had to 'sanitise' the stories for the children, therefore not giving the real story): The Graveyard book and Coraline. The book I'm reading right now is his collection of short fictions: Fragile things. Nag eenjoy ako sa mga nabasa ko so far. Of those I've read, eto ang mga highly recommended:

1. a study in emerald
2. october in a chair
3. My Life -pwedeng pang monologue!
4. Sunbird

Okay. Tama na, at mahaba na ito.
p.s. to those who may have come across this post, and have nothing better to say or do (granted that surprisingly--you actually read this through and through)...your 'so what?' is welcome. :) it's just that I wanted this thing to be written down, for future references. Probably not for you, but for someone who may see value in this the next time she/he needs to know more about his/her mother (ako yun). :)

**an overseas couple's DIY, no-coordinator wedding:

note: something I wrote as a post for w@w (sa mga bagong silang, that's weddings@work for you--an online community of Filipino couples (although mostly brides) planning their weddings). Removed some details (some of the prices. hehe) :

*Suppliers Rating (LONG READ!) Part 1*:
Ratings:
**pwede na
***pwede!
****Sulita Monsod.
*****highly recommended at bumubula pa ang bibig
Church: Chapel of the Transfiguration of Jesus, Nasugbu Batangas (aka Caleruega Chapel) (www.dominicans.ph/caleruega/index/)
Special thank you to: Ms Sally Dastas (Nasugbu Parish—dyan kayo magsasubmit ng lahat ng papers nyo. AT sumasagot sya talaga sa text inquiries)
Rating: *****
Kwento muna:
Eight years ago when the topic of such was brought up between me and Jay, I’d always say I want to be married in this quaint chapel in Alabang—the one fronting and very close to ATC (St Jerome Emiliani and Santa Susanna Parish). For some reason I find it elegant yet not too showy. Fast foward to early 2007, another chapel came to our attention and the funny thing about it is that it’s always been mentioned by people we know, but we never saw it as another option. Then came our fascination with our local wedding videographers and photographers—ayun, dun lang kami napa-wow—this is it. For a chapel we only saw once in person (we attended our friends’ wedding there, in late 2007), and a gazillion times in photos and video, we knew it’s a tight race between Sts Jerome and Susanna, and Caleruega. While doing my excel sheets, it occurred to me that we might be spending more if the wedding will be in Alabang. Sure, it may be more accessible but there are lots of factors which we had to consider (like the theme, the logistics, the traffic!, how to control the crowd and keep the ceremonies solemn (i mean hello—ang lapit ng ATC noh), the cost of hotel stay and of course the overall presentation). We were in the brink of a decision when sorting upon my ‘aged’ files from years back, I chanced upon these two lines I wrote, for whatever reason I can’t remember: ‘And nais ko lamang naman ay makasal sa’yo sa harap ng mga mahal natin sa buhay at mga kaibigan. Sa lugar na mataas—sa bangin...overlooking ‘a bulkan’. Ayun naman pala eh.

NOTES: The chapel was a bit pricey, but it was all worth it. The view and the ambiance—that’s what you pay for. You don’t need additional eye candy, really. Kasi maganda na sya on its own. Chance upon a sunny afternoon (which I prayed for, and was granted. Yey!) and you’ll get lovely pictures—meron pang ‘may-i-shine upon you’ slash ‘beam-me-up-scottie’ epek yan. Ganda. The chapel can only sit up to a hundred (I think), and it’s got a choir loft. Now, a note to some: may kasama na pong host and wine yung simbahan (we fondly called it the communion package). Meron naring candles na sisindihan nung sponsors (ang wala lang eh yung unity candle). I have to emphasize this, kasi hindi namin agad na check yung chapel, so naghanap pa tuloy kami sa Sta Cruz at Malabon ng mga ganon, eh meron naman na pala. Hindi naman sya nasayang, kasi we offered those we bought sa communion. Pero yun nga—meron pong mga gamit. Meron ding mag aassist sa inyo, if in case nagtapang-tapangan kayo at naisip nyong wag nang mag coordinator. Tulad ko. Hehe. They have this sacristan mayor (Victor) who you can contact, to help you in almost everything you need sa simbahan—make the entourage fall in line, back up church music kung wala kang choir, sound system, atbp.

Some shots which highlight the rustic and charming appeal of the place:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3269968386/in/set-72157613477693917/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3272237680/in/set-72157613477693917/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3273876599/in/set-72157613477693917/

Priest: Rev Fr Christian Sabili, OSJ (Parish Priest, St Exequiel Moreno Parish, Palawan)
Rating: *****
He’s my cousin, so his service (plus airfare from Palawan to Manila) is all for free. Regalo nya daw sakin. May hiya naman ako, so I have other things in mind for him, na kasama naman sa budget. hehe. I sent our onsite video to some of my friends who weren’t able to make it, at ang unang reaction nila ay ganito: ‘ang gwapo ni father!’. Aside from his good looks (nyahaha), Father Christian was also very game and engaging. Sya pa nga ang nag suggest na we celebrate the mass in Tagalog, para daw hindi masyado stiff, and in the case of our foreigner guests, they’ll get to see a Filipino mass. Ceremony proper, nag enjoy ang guests, feeling ata nila nasa isang talk show sila. Since I’ve always been known for being so ‘impromptu’, hindi sya nagpatalo. For the gospel reading, he changed it into something else. He sang some parts of the mass, at may audience participation pa. Overall, lahat ay tawa nang tawa. Masaya ba. And that made it so much special.

Reception: Ladera Golfer’s Lounge, Splendido Taal (www.weddingsatsplendido.com)
Special thank you to: Ms Cherry Sanchez (Marketing Supervisor and AE), contact: sanch821@yahoo.com / 09209471840 and Mr Noel Digma (Asst), contact: digmanoel@yahoo.com.ph
Rating: ****
Ay okay itong Splendido. The only qualms I had with them was from the beginning nung nagpalit pala sila ng AE tapos hindi ako sinabihan agad, at nung minsan na nagbago pala sila ng bank acoount at mali ang naibigay na info nung accounting dept nila. Madali lang namang i-rectify yun, at matapos ang makabagbag damdamin kong letter sa bago nilang AE (na si Cherry), all went well na. We had our food tasting (which Cherry threw in for free. Bumabawi. Hehe), and we brought along my dad with us—our human-gauge (pag nasarapan siya, okay na). We got their 750++ buffet for 100 pax, which is around 915 pesos all in (with tax and service charge). Since we’re not getting their wedding packages, we only had to pay for the venue rental at an additional 25K. There are a couple of kids in the reception, and they eat for free (7 years old and below). There’s a waiver of corkage for 10 bottles of wine, and there’s free flow of drinks and coffee/tea (for the VIP tables only). Feedback on the food? Masarap daw. All raves from everyone. As usual, hindi kami masyado nakakain (although sabi nila mukhang ganado parin daw kami. Hehe) We’ve tasted the appetizers while at the holding room at masarap nga! Fave namin yung liver and banana wrapped in bacon. Masarap din yung tahong. From the guests? Everyone loved everything, and they have different ‘favourites’—they told us about it after the dinner, at talagang nakakataba ng puso. Misis P (Jay’s mom) is a cakes and pastry mafia, so when she told us that the desserts were marvellous, we had to request for them nung nagse settle na kami ni Noel afterwards (to which they gladly obliged). Masarap nga.

NOTES: Ngayon, ang problema as usual, is either sobra sobra ang food, or kulang. While we booked for 100 pax, and they prepared for 120, our guest turnout was—140. So talagang kulang. For some reason our guests didn’t get the idea behind RSVP (well, wala naman talagang nag RSVP. Hello!), nor did they get the fact that the reception will be held in Splendido, at hindi sa bahay ng parents ko. (side kwento: just to illustrate what I meant, may mga tao ngang hindi invited na after the wedding asked my dad: ‘wala man lang bang halaya at leche flan na ipinamigay?’—o diba.) Meron pa ngang nagdala ng mga ’hatak’—so you can imagine how Jay and I would exchange looks ‘sino ba yun? kilala mo ba?’ Well, to be technical about it, hindi naman talaga nag kulang yung food, kasi nakapag uwi pa kami ng left overs, so hindi ko ma gets kung ano ang ibig sabihin nung mga nag comment na hindi daw sila nakakain (exxag. Ahah).

Pictures:
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/photo/20/6
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/photo/20/3
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/photo/20/14

Flowers: RCJC Flowers, Mendez Crossing, Tagaytay City (http://rcjcflowers.multiply.com/)
Special thank you to: Tita Cora Perey, contact: 0920-4057081
Rating: *****
PRICE: 17K, includes every floral what-have-you’s we used (church, reception, bridal bouquet, ento—name it). Pramis.
Now, why is it very cheap? First of all, we recycled some of the flowers—those buckets on the aisles in the chapel? we asked them to be transferred to the reception, to be dressed up as table name holders, which also acted as centre pieces. We were very specific in which flowers to use, and none of them included ‘favourite’ varieties, like roses whose prices, at this time of the year would have gone waaay up, kasi malapit na ang valentine’s day. Tita Cora (and the gang) used mumps, liliums, spider lilies and hydrangeas in shades of white, green and purple, while my bouquet was all white (stargazers)and green—just the way I liked it. The flowers were minimal accents, and we intended them that way. Kasi nga, our church and reception venues are already pretty (to our opinion ha. Hehe). Yung entourage namin, mga babae lang ang may flowers kasi yung boys—they had badges on (more about this later). Yung groom lang (an orange gerbera!), FOB and FOG ang merong corsage. the girls had wrist corsages on, and my flower girl—had a popcorn-bucket-full of petals for her to scatter while walking down the aisle. Yung female sponsors had each a stem of calla lilies, and the MOG and MOB had their purses lang. (for practicality’s sake diba, ang dami na nilang hawak nung araw na yan kaya) we didn’t use any flowers for the bridal car, and we made use of other elements dun sa table setting and the church arrangements—candles, vines, twigs and candelabras.

NOTES: it pays to stick with what you want. Syempre Tita Cora looked a bit worried at first, nung sinabi naming yung gusto naming arrangements (minimal), and the motif (‘black? Hindi nga?’), pero kasi we have these details into mind na, and we know it will work with the rest. Have reference pictures (if there are) so that it’s fool proof. Overall, maasikaso si Tita Cora (she even volunteered to help dun sa pagbubukas ng pinto sa chapel for my grand entrance) and very thoughtful. If you’re doing DIY, she’ll be very glad to help out.

Some pictures:
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/album/19#1
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3269968386/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3272237116/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/panelo/3274697818/

Wedding Cake: Sugar box ( www.ilovesugarbox.com)
Special thank you to: Ms Emily Uy!, contact: emilyu@yahoo.com
Rating: *****
PRICE: 12K for a three layered, ‘luggages inspired’ fondant cake (carrot walnut flavoured) , includes out of town fee, plus 12 mini cakes for free
Don’t be fooled by the price. Ang daming tao na nung unang narinig how much we’re paying for our cake, handed out other recommendations na mas mura. We then asked around, and told these other options what we wanted (a luggage inspired cake for our travel themed wedding). For some reason (na overwhelm sila siguro), they had to revise the pricing for us, at tumaas yung pricing significantly, tapos wala man lang freebies. Lumabas na pag kumuha pa kami ng mini cakes, mas mahal na dun sa package ni Emily. Emily’s package was flat out—yun na yun. And we loved it. She just gave us the rates sheet by email, then I told her about our cake and all the other borloloys (should have these tags na may logo namin, may dalawang twin reflex cameras sa gilid na naka-sabit), and she said she’ll do it. Walang price increase whatsoever. Madali syang kausap, at sa email lang kami talaga nag co-correspond when Jay and I were still overseas. And the mini cakes? They were made into luggages din. we gave them out as souvenirs for our sponsors, na sobrang natuwa sila. We even chose which flavours to use for these mini cakes. Cake tasting was really fun—we ventured into their place kasi sa Binondo. Parang 2 angkan lang naman kami. Ahaha.

End result?
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/photo/20/10
http://kapeatsaging.multiply.com/photos/photo/20/11
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCwcHsrqvTwDO4APrw5oTCdWI8t7jFk51iirigpagd33q-NwS0a-okMVB9WlMdlPbvB_b0Te_Cuzo73bnbKG15mxa8pD-N92m9bQHQ2rlVDWHGQ1Dh-eVg8rRirMx02dUBy-jHQAif8fo/s320/IMG_0119+1.JPG

Official Photographer: Mangored (www.mangored.com/blog )
Special thank you to: Randall ‘frustrated rockstar’ Dagooc and wife, Joanne (taga-salo ng bala) contact: info@mangored.com , joanakristinedagooc@gmail.com
Rating: varies...volatile...harbouring between *** and *****
Palagay ko may love-hate relationship kami ng Mangored. First off, I’d like to express how much admiration we have for this zany, very talented group. Sobrang paghanga ito, na sila ang una naming ni-book na supplier (yes, bago pa kami nakapag confirm sa simbahan). We soo love everything about their work. It’s very different, edgy at wala ka talagang masasabi. They're tagged as the country's premier. Oh yes, they are. And while their prices were really up there, we called it an investment. Minsan lang ‘to—and we think we’re not committing any mistake in getting what we think is the best compliment and supplement to our personalities and the event we ourselves are organising. We were trying hard at first—alam mo yon, para bang you wanted to please them din. So much, that the concept of the ‘cigarette dispenser’ even came to mind, kasi my dad and my sister both used to work for a big cigarette manufacturing company , so sabi ko matutuwa ang mga sunog baga—este, Mangored dito, pag may ganito sa lunch spread naming during the preps, at sa reception table nila . Eh kaso masyado silang busy (all throughout the preps nga, niloloko ko si Randall: ‘Eh, masyado na silang sikat eh. Rockstars nalang ang pinapansin nila—nde naman kasi kami rockstars’, to which he’ll reply with his Randall laugh). Madami na silang inaasikaso, and all we wanted was a bit of time for us din. Diba? There were times na wala talagang reply sa emails, texts atbp. We understood at first, kaso nung tumagal tagal na, tapos hanggang 1 week before the wedding hindi sila makadeliver, at kelangan pang kami ang sumunod sa schedule nila, ay nagtaray ang lola mo via a funny text message wherein I bluntly said ‘paying clients din naman kami ah’. Ayun...Yung frustrations ko from the very beginning, kasama na yung tampo ko, nasabi ko kay Joanne via text. In fairness to her, alam kong madami syang ginagawa at talagang busy sila. Pero kung ako sa kanila kasi, magdagdag na kaya sila ng tao, para hindi naman feeling nung maliliit na clients (like us) na echapwera sila. It was a cathartic moment, that text I sent. After nun, hindi na ako na stress with the other pending details. I’d repeatedly tell anyone ‘nothing surprises me anymore’.

Ang nakakatawa eh hindi lang pala kami ang fans. May mga suppliers din kami na fans (im not naming names. Hehe), pa sikreto man ito or hindi. I find it really amusing kasi you can see their reactions upon realising that they will be working with Mangored. Para bang na challenge na na pressure na ewan. Haylavit! Ahaha. Given the heartaches they’ve given us, ewan ko—I’d still go for Mangored. Better yet—sana kinasal nalang kami ng mas maaga, nung hindi pa sila sikat. Hehe. Galing talaga. No regrets.

--Will post pictures once we get them (raw pics plus some of the engagement shots should be by end of this week).--

Official Videographer: Gilbert Obispo of 3rd Generation Video Production (www.gilbertobispo.com )
Special thank you to: Direk Gilbert , contact: 5577339 / 09285208363 / 09225885484 / 09158414868
gilbertobispo@yahoo.com
Rating: ***** (at isa pang tumataginting na *)
Price: 16,500 all in, for onsite video, out of town charges and free use of lumens projector. Also included are the raw clips taken during the entire event, in DVD.
Talk about super sulit na, mura pa. Direk Gilbert makes corporate videos, one of them for my Dad’s/Sister’s former company. I’d have to be honest na at first nagdadalawang isip talaga ako, kasi naman hindi sya sikat, at hindi rin sya w@w supplier. It turns out that he’s more of a photojournalist, and seeing the non-bridal photos he took, he’s really good (or maybe it’s a matter of taste—hindi kasi kami ‘bridal’ ever. Hehe). In short, he’s very flexible. If you want bridal, he’ll give you bridal. Pag hindi naman, he’ll work out something for you. We emailed him, over which I negotiated for a couple of things, one of them getting the projector for free. We also gave him a specific wish list, and our choice of song. We wanted to go for a non-traditional wedding onsite video kasi, so walang lovey dovey talaga. And the result? It was a huge surprise. Everyone liked it, as he was able to get hold of the many details we have incorporated in the event. Hindi pa nakakasawang panuorin yung video (or maybe it’s just me. Hehe)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rctK-M1lc0

MALIIT.

May isa akong kakilala, house wife sya at nanay sa dalawang batang parehong pumapasok na sa eskwelahan. Nagbitiw sya sa trabaho (‘hindi naman kalakihan ang kita’), sa kadahilanang gusto nyang matutukan ang kanyang mga anak (‘madalas sila magkasakit’) na maliliit pa.
Mayroon syang maliit na negosyo na inilalako nya sa mga kaibigan at kapitbahay.
Si mister ang punong tagapagbigay nang halos lahat nang bagay na maibibigay nang pera.
Isang araw, kinagabihan matapos kumain at habang sya ay nagliligpit, pinuna ni mister ang estante: ‘tignan mo itong estante, ang dumi dumi na’. Binigyan nya nang sulyap ito, at inisip—kung paano, bukod sa pagwawalis araw araw nang may kalakihan nilang bahay, maisasama nya ang estante. ‘Tignan mo o...ano ba ang ginagawa mo dito sa bahay?’ dagdag nang haligi nang tahanan. Natigilan sya sa pag iisip, di mawari kung paano tatanggapin ang sinabi nang kabiyak na nagtutustos nang lahat nang pangangailangan nila. Naisip nya ang araw araw na kailangan nyang gumising nang maaga, para ipaghanda ang almusal nilang mag anak, para masigurado na may isusuot na damit si mister, at para mapakain ang panganay nya (‘na matagal ngumuya at matapos’) na pang umaga.

Ihahatid nya ito sa gate (kasama si bunso) nang eskwelahan matapos usisain kung natapos ba nito ang kanyang takdang aralin kagabi. Pag balik nang bahay, si bunso naman ang aasikasihun—paliliguan, sisiguraduhing kumain nang madami, naka-dumi na at ihahanda para sa pang hapon na klase. Mag-aayos sya nang bahay, na sa araw araw na ginawa nang diyos ay may kalat ng mga laruan sa sahig-- mga pinag gupitan na papel, at kung ano ano pang maaring matapon na malagkit o madulas. Pagkatapos ay ihahatid nya si bunso sa eskwelahan ('malapit lang naman'), at susunduin naman si ate sa kabilang eskwela. Magsasabi si ate sa kanya na kung maaari ay huwag na syang sunduin dahil malaki na sya. Oo, sya na pitong taong gulang ay malaki na, at hindi sya maaaring ma disgrasya sa pagtawid ng kalsada, o malapitan nang masasamang loob.
Uuwi sila nang bahay, at magwawalis sya. Madalas syang makipag usap sa telepono habang sya ay nag iimis. Iniaalok nya ang paninda nya sa mga kaibigan, kung hindi naman ay nakikipag kwentuhan sya sa mga taong interesadong malaman kung ano ang kalagayan niya.

Maiinis si ate dahil mauutusan nya itong magligpit nang iba pang kalat. Magwiwika sa ate na pagod sya, at ibabaling ang katamaran sa pagbababad nang nanay nya sa telepono. ‘Mama, kanina ka pa nakikipag tsimisan, tapos ako ang uutusan mong magligpit’. Nagpanting ang tenga nya. Narinig na nya iyong tono na yon dati. Sa asawa nya. Ang asawa nyang magaling na wala nang ginawa kung hindi sumang ayon sa lahat nang sasabihin nang anak nya, sa kadahilanang ayaw nyang makipag talo:

Pag sya ay ‘hindi puwede’, si mister ay ‘Sige lang’.
Pag sinabi nyang tapusin ang takdang aralin at irarason ni ate na pagod na sya (at ipapahinga nya ang mata sa pamamagitan nang panunuod nang telebisyon), sasang ayon si mister kay ate. Hindi na tuloy naniniwala si ate sa kanya, at ang huling salita ay kay itay.

Bakit nga naman sya ang masusunod, eh hindi naman sya ang nagpapakain sa kanila?
Hindi naman sya ang nagpapakahirap sa pagtatrabaho (na ayon sa mga kalalakihan na de pamilya ay ang tanging paraan para makaiwas sa responsibilidad sa bahay) at pagkita nang pera?

Bakit, ano ba sya?

‘Bakit, ano ba ako? Katulong nyo ba ako?’ nagbalik ang kanyang diwa sa pang-kasalukuyan.
‘Porke’t hindi ako ang kumukita nang pera, wala na ba akong karapatan magpahinga—o masunod?’
Natigilan ang buong bahay, ngunit pang samantala lamang.
‘Sige, tignan ko lang, pag nawala ako. Kung hindi gumuho ang mga mundo nyo. Gaano ba ka 'di importante itong ginagawa ko, at kailangan akong kastiguhin at maliitin? ’
Hindi sya nagsalita muli, at nanahimik nang tuluyan.
Basa pa ang mga sampay. Bukas nga pala—anong ulam?

Naisip ko lang naman

Kung bakit ngayon kailangang lagyan nang 'bridal' chenes ang tawag sa lahat nang magiging accesories and eching ko for the wedding.

halimbawa--bridal bible, bridal suite, bridal house, bridal undergarments, bridal shoes...

medyo tuloy ang hirap mag isip at pumili.

para bang kelangan there's this element of 'first time', and rather 'impracticability' of anything I'll be using. Para bang it has to be super special na hindi ko na sya ulet magagamit.

Well, thats sad--don't you think?

That you'll be spending so much on something you'll find no use for, afterwards?

I mean fine--they're symbolic and all. Kaso, wouldn't it be ironic to call something 'symbolic', tapos that symbol will never see the light of day after the big event?

Naisip ko lang naman, kasi I think I've found my so-called bridal shoes last Saturday morning, while walking at Orchard Road. Actually, meron na naman akong nabili, last December pa--I call it my 'backup' shoes. Eager to 'break it in', I used it for my engagement shoot at Old Supreme Court last week. Okay naman sya, altho my sister finds it weird, or maybe not that reassuring enough to be 'that shoe'. So last Saturday I toyed with the idea of getting 'another option' from Isetan Shaw--I've been eyeing these 'collared' shoes with funky soles in red (whose brand name I forgot). But lo and behold--when I stepped inside Zara (which is on sale, by the way. bumula ang bibig ko, pramis), this sweet thing in suede said 'hello' to me instantly. I thought the idea was crazy, but I went on and gave it a fit. Naknampocha, it felt good. AT! I looked good on it. Bihira lang itong love at first site na ito. Ang unang pumasok sa isip ko, 'wow. ang gara nito sa skirt'. Tapos, biglang 'syet, at pwede itong ipang lakad sa luagr na--eherm--malamig'. So ayun. sa halagang 50% off, wala akong makitang dahilan para nde ako um-oo. While queueing for the counter, biglang naisip ko, 'ay--this is it.' (naknangteteng, why do I have to be so emo? hehe) So meet my so called bridal shoes. Happiness. :)

meet my back up shoes from Schu. :)

and... my bridal chenes chervalin...

from Zara.

Mga pahapyaw

i wrote this last night, but was not able to post right away. sori ha. :P

Habang ako'y naglalakad sa Kent Ridge, pauwi na matapos kumain nang lamb sa NUSS guild House...

1. natawa ako dahil naalala ko ang sabi ni Ron. Matapos ko kasi syang maisip i-aprove sa fezbook, bigla nalang akong nag sulat sa wall nya, with details on how i want their (AB Choral') 'help' for my wedding. Nag reply sya at sabi 'Direct to the point ka ah! chenes chenes...'sabay may ending na 'o, magkamustahan naman tayo--kamusta ka na?' ahaha. pwede na nga akong mag asawa. Kumakapal na ang mukha ko eh. (mental note: wag kalimutan ang pagbati at pangangamusta sa kada sulat, lalo na't patungkol ang sulat sa isang malufet na request na ikagaganda nang kasal mo)

2. Ngayon, nalaman ko lang ang tindi nang pangangailangan ko kay Ron nung tumawag sakin si Miro. Kaninang tanghali. Oo, ganito ang buhay ko ngayon. Bukod sa life sentence na pinagsisilbihan ko, salamat kay mayordoma-- tumawag ang bespren ko from HK at ang tanging nasabi ko lang nang matino eh 'Si Miro ba ito?' Yan eh habang naghahalungkat ako ng basura--este, estante--naghahanap kasi ako nang travel plug na all-in sa co-operative namin na ironically, nde cooperative sa kadahilanang sa iniliit ng pwesto nila sa Bukit Timah campus, magulo lahat ng paninda nila. Sabaw sabaw ako, nde ko nga alam kung paano ko naayos lahat nang pinapagawa ni mayordoma today. With matching preemptive measures pa ha.

3. tatlong araw akong andito sa Bukit Timah campus nang NUS. Humingi nang tulong yung isang alalay nang amo ko (tawagin nlanag natin syang mayordoma), at ako ang lucky draw winner. ngayon mali pala ang pagkakarinig ko--nde pala tulong ang kelangan nya. Katulong pala. :) diba ang cute? wala --okay lang ako, altho 2 straight days na akong badtrip come lunch time. I'll be fine. im not letting any wretched bitch spoil my last few weeks being single.

4. nako, OA na itong goodbye to singlehood chenes na ito ha. or yung idea na 'magpapatali ka na' na naririnig ko dun sa mga taong nde ko naman close pero iniimbitahan yung sarili nila sa big day ko. As if saying anything mean will get you an invite. Ako lang ang pwedeng mag joke about my state of distress, either present or future. Nyeta. :)

5. at...bumigat na naman ako. okay--nde as if nde ako mabigat ever. ang ibig kong sabihin eh medyo gumaan ako nang konti nung minsan (basta, minsan). as if nagtampo ang timbang ko. ngayon, imagine them coming back, merry and boisterous. they even brought MORE friends. egad!

6. ay! nakuha na namin yung iba pang kuha for the panelo.com 'free nap'. may mga magaganda, at syempre may mga --eherm panahon na huminga ako at nagpakatotoo. :P Mula ngayon--i'll try to hold everything in, at nde nako magpapakatotoo ever. wahaha. nde yata bagay sakin ang relaxed look. may isa akong picture, okay na sana eh, kaso naknampota yung braso ko, parang ewan. alam mo na--parang bagay na nakakasakit pag ibinato. :)

p.s. pramis, magpo post ako nang checklist for the big day. pati narin list ng suppliers ko. not that you may be interested--wala lang. mas fun yatang pakinggan yang mga details na yan kesa sa details regarding sa career ko. hehe. AT! i'll post some (more) pictures. sorry ha, baka may mga naiinis na at eto nalang lagi ang kwento ko. yaan nyo by next month, iba naman. Boracay naman. (yihee. may isang batang excited! oy, nde ako ha.) :P

pero..eto muna ang ilang keso-ness. (salamat ulet, jon--move over, mangored (joke, randall. joke! ))

Servicio Publico

there was one time (i think) last month when I actually woke up from the sunniest side of my bed that i was sooo nice the whole day, that thinking about it now--it freaks the hell out of me. :P I think I even messaged mommyontop an analogy: 'kung nagsabog ang Diyos nang kabutihan today, I must have been unconscious or asleep, with my mouth open wide.' Anyway, nakakatuwa, it turned out that Im up to helping someone that day. I got this email from someone I dont personally know, asking about iWeb. Nakita daw nya kasi yung Save the Date movie na ginawa ko (which I posted 'somewhere'--hehe), then discovered my website. Hemingweys--she asked me about publishing her iWeb creation, doing away with mac's expensive web hosting. Ang swerte nya, kasi I dunno--I was extra nice that day. Ang resulta? Step by step tutorial (na hindi copy-pasted from somewhere, mind you!) kung paano mag publish outside the mac domain, with matching sward-speak. I never imagined myself doing such things for someone I dont know, so nung natapos ko ang mahabang enumeration, ewan ko--I felt accomplished and just so happy. Nag reply agad si 'lucky message sender' and she was so gracious--funny! first time eh. :P She even suggested that I make a website for mac DIY tutorial, which I think is generously online naman, siguro nga lang, masyadong technical or ewan ko--usually kasi mga lalake ang nagsusulat, so you fall asleep, step number two palang. joke! So, why not, diba? This my friends, eez my version of DIY web publishing on iWeb (non-mac domain). Henjoy!

First of all, secure a domain name first (by the way, nagamit mo na ba yung free 30 days subscription mo sa mac.com? kasi okay din yun, altho yun nga lang, 30 days lang yan na libre). There are alot of those on sale online, and prices can vary from very cheap to almost as expensive as mac's 5USD/month. I use Cyberduck for my ftp uploading. Thats what you use if you'll be uploading your website outside the mac domain, which you can also download for free at the apple downloads corner, or directly at: http://cyberduck.ch/

Ngayon, kung may domain ka na at naka install na yung cyberduck mo:
1. go to iWeb, yung project mo mismo
2. tapos 'publish to folder'--> nasa unang hanay yata yan ng file commands (sorry ha, nasa opist ako ngayon eh, and Im using a pc. :) look for it...andyan lang yun)
3. you have to create a sub folder sa documents folder (not really a folder, diba? basta yung under documents ekek). now, dont ever move that folder--that should be a permanent fixture dyan, kasi everytime you save your work, you have to publish it there. not a good idea if you rename it, or move it, kasi uploading is always based on paths diba. So overwrite lang nag overwrite everytime changes are being made sa iWeb.
4. Mapapansin mo na yung files created dun sa folder na yun, may mala directory (or index). then andun din yung folder/s created per project you make. Open your cyberduck, then drag EVERYTHING dun sa box (or kung ano man yung mag aapear via cyberduck).
5.Pag first time mo, walang overwrite ekek na itatanong. so the next time you make changes, even the slightest ones--you have to 'publish to folder'--> overwrite--> drag everything to cyberduck--> overwrite.
6. tapos mag po prompt yan (just in case)--need to change keychains. ang sagot dun eh yes.
7. Last but not the leat--make sure na na set up mo na yung domain name mo (where you'll be publishing. Tanong ko rin sa bro ni Jay kung magkano ngayon yung mga binebentang domains). Kung hindi pa, then just 'publish to folder', para lang naka save yung work mo

ah, technical-creative writing ba ito? :)