how it felt-- exactly.

And I quote Okri's 'In Arcadia'

"If you believe in something, your very belief renders you unqualified to do it. Your earnestness will come across. Your passion will show. Your enthusiasm will make everyone nervous. And your naivete will irritate. Which means that you will become suspect. Which means that you will be prone to disillusionment. Which means that you will not be able to sustain your belief in the face of all the piranha fish which nibble away at your idea and your faith, till only the skeleton of your dream is left...

The world--which is to say the powers that be--would listen to your ardent ideas with a stiff smile on its face, then put up impossible obstacles, watch you finally give up your cherished idea, having mangled it beyond recognition, and after you slope away in profound discouragement it will take up your idea, dust it down, give it a new spin, and hand it over to someone who doesn't believe in it at all.

That's the world. Take it from me."

josko! ayun. yun nga. korek. hey, if one day I see Okri on the street--take it from me--he'll sure freak out, but that won't stop me from giving him a 'haypayb' (high fives, yeah!).

this goes out to anyone who started out idealistic, motivated and full of energy, only to end up disappointed, disenchanted and mangled.

group hug tayo. haha.