Malambing na pusa

I know of a person who can never add the word ‘malambing’ in her list of upheld virtues.
(Is malambing even a virtue?)
If translated in English, the closest word will have to be ‘sweet’—debatable, of course,
but it fits more likely than, say, ‘thoughtful’ which in Tagalog is ‘maalalahanin’.

So this girl I know of is not one. Really.
Or so people say.
By survey and statistical analysis, there are actually two adjectives that wont fit her bill—the former and another one: ‘graceful’.
She gags at the sight of sweetness; she thinks it’s too much for her to take.
No hard feelings per se—she’s just wary of it.
She hates sugary pitched voices (her voice is classified alto 2), and thoughts of weak damsels in distress.
There’s this lingering feeling of manipulation and disguise—she can’t shake it off.

One time when she was still in school, she won an interpretative dance competition,
And not because she dances well, but because of her ‘creativity’—one the judges said.
She recounted how funny it felt that the judges had to come up with another award of sort
(probably to compensate)—‘one that recognizes grace’ they announced. Of course she didn’t get it.
She didn’t really want to win anything anyway--joining the competition was a requirement.
Dancing is not even her cup of tea.

Ah, sweetness and grace.
Very feminine,
Very un-her.

She’d rather be seen as a person who can take on anything—a free spirit.
Walking in the woods does not require grace,
Neither does writing a story, or a poem.
It does not call for her to do swift, flowing gestures with her hands.
Or flattery, or small voices, or soft lips and pleading eyes.
She joked one time of killing herself if she turns ‘to the dark side’.

She was okay.
And then the boy came.
And more boys came.
And no one, it turns out—not one of them wants her as she is—
accomplished, ambitious and raw.
It makes them uneasy.
Can she at least be more graceful and sweet?

The sight of sights came upon me one day when I saw her
Walking nearby.
Ruffled up, dolled and high heeled.
She does look sweet and graceful.
I was convinced that she made it,
Until she smiled—then I saw something,
that spark in her eyes I used to see more of, that grin that can mean lots of things.
For a moment there I thought I saw the good ‘ol her.

‘and how are you?’ I asked.
The sweetness in her voice sounded sincere. ‘Im great.’
‘Used to it?’ I joked.
And she just laughed.
Her man walks from behind, and takes her away, bidding me goodbye.
He starts talking about getting a maid or assistant to accompany her, as he has to always work late and travel.
I overhear ‘But I can handle everything’
‘Really? Including me?’ was the playful retort
‘Of course, my love’. Very sweetly.

Hands at her back, I see her flick a middle finger.

Cheesy songs and flights o' fancy

Sunday was chorale practice (yes, bad habits never die). After two weeks of absence (conferences, long over due meetings), and missing the 'group photo op', it felt weird that Im still keen to go on, and join them. Its as if there's no such thing as momentum for me when it comes to this 'interest' that is chorale singing--thus Ive realised I really like what Im doing. Wah. Finally. Surprises of suprises, diba? Gee, I bet Miro will 'tambling' forever. The group's atmosphere was pretty much similar to chor-al's --the chorale ensemble I used to be part of--hmm...now using the term 'used to' sounds weird! (awwww...miss ko na sila)

Henewey, now that Im in Singapore (for almost four years! where'd that go?) and after several trial and error with different chorale/music ministries, Ive decided to settle (i think!). Psalmi's structure is a bit complicated, as it is loosely connected with the FX Choir at St Ignatius. Its not really problematic, but lets just say, hmmm..Im with Psalmi. Its not your regular church choir, but is a choir. firyud. Like the Mads, like the UST Singers (not that we're at par, okay? hehe).

We're nomads (aren't we all?), hence the different practice venues. Last Sunday was at Kiko's at Casa Sophia. Where? Up there o! ------------> yeah, and a couple more walks. Excuse my french, but wadapak?? talaga naman. When I reached Kiko's, my heart was beating to the milliseconds. Cardio ba itoh? I heard its 140 steps. Steep steps. No, I ddin't count, and Im not planning to confirm it by doing it again. After four hours of practice we had to face the sad realisation that its Monday the next day. Packing our things, Manny said 'sa stairs tayo dumaan' (lets hit the stairs). Everyone: 'Tara'
(Lets go). Joy, knowing how my plight went, looked at me and said ' O, eh baket parang hindi ka masaya?' (and how come you dont look happy?). Me: away nalang tayo, ano? (NB: no english translation for this, sounds sooo better in Tagalog. hehe)

Turns out that walking down (of course) those flight of stairs is better done when you're with a group of rowdy individuals happily chatting away. Before you know it, you're almost there.

Now, for that cheesy song, as my title suggests...its called 'Love is the Answer' . Its the most keso-ful thing on the face of the earth, but hell--the arrangement is full of movements--dynamics and blending. I heard its a regular church song/wedding song although I've never encountered it before (maybe becuase chor-al was never a church song-fixture? hehe) . Some of the lyrics may put you off, but its a love song, so its a given (heehee). Here's my favourite (first part!):

Morning comes and I must go

dawn is breaking yonder

after all those places I have been

now im going home

Now if only I get a remedy for sore legs and knees. Can love account for that? (you cheesy little twit!)

Tagged

It's from Da Menggay:

5 Things Found In My Bag:

-my wallet (is this a given?) if yes, then theres my celphone

-EZlink card

-small bottle of rubbing alcohol (uh oh, OC)

-house keys

-AT...whiteflower (its your lola's kikay kit)

5 Things Found In My Wallet:

- cards, lotsa cards (atm, credit cards, Permanent Resident IC, biz cards)

- the 'holy octave of consecration' medallion given by my college professor

- receipts! ack! dami!

- a 'lucky' dollar nickel I found in our hotel room in Tokyo (souvenir! nyahaha)

- coins

5 Things Found In My Room

- a white sofa

-my mac

-my 'unsused' TV

-my bedroom furniture? :) (bed, cabinet, etc)

-my playmates--kermit the frog, shiela, dolor, kermit jr, noni, spike 

5 Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do

-travel the world 

-get a dog

-have mini versions of myself (hehe)

-do something noble--dev work in the Phils? (naks)

-get a house with a backyard big enough for a gazebo, a trampoline and a mini pool (get the picture? :) )

5 Things I’m Currently Into:

-obviously, blogging

-my work as a ^)*%%^_ (oooh)

-dreaming waayy ahead for my birthday plans (okay, not that detailed yet...but...)

-plan for my Cambodia trip this Feb

-scrimp on moolah to make way for: a)christmas b)the cambodia trip c)my birthday treat

the lucky five!

-tinay

-goriah

-patty

-iceeh

-shella

Hormones?

I dont know why Ive been super bitchy today and yesterday, practically the whole week.

and Im sorry.

Its just that I dont feel--ewan.

whatever.

there i go again.

i know its not really your fault,

and i keep on unloading all these negativity.

I'd love to speak my mind,

and im sorry to say--it felt better everytime.

Not that I dont think Im right all the time,

But becuase i just have something to say--

yes, some things matter to me more.

and one of them involves me being treated fair and treated right.

and includes being reassured, and getting me 'feel' it.

Mahirap ba yon?

So, sorry--okay?

Im saying sorry to myself.

So I thank God for them (and Fridays, of course)

its christmas time in the office! yay!

(opo, against the light po ang kuha. take note, nde kuhang photographer yan, photo-taker lang,

so please spare me--tehee...bitchy)

(Becky Fact#1: I soo love Christmas time. It keeps me sane, warm and 'reminded')

oh mah gawd...may buwan. (followedby bellowing echo: May buwan sa Singapore!) A view of Holland V from Block 12

(Becky fact#2: I soooo love the skies at night time. I love seeing stars. Reminds me of were I came from (nah, not the stars..)--and since this is Singapore, the land of the glittering articial nightlights and sounds, Im very much happy to settle for the moon for the meantime.)
p.s. Awww..that sounded sad. NOT! okay? :)

healthy things kuno.

Becky fact#3: Pakwan is not really a favourite. I only eat it in very teeny quantities. The one I crave for in this set is the..(gasp) orange. Opo--parang bata. :) Im just eating everything to spite this friend of mine who likes watermelons--minus the 'damo'. Pang-asar lang.

walang tao. My workplace hallway. This is the the left wing from the lift. No more comments.

Becky fact#4: Just in case I breach another rule, and end up in trouble. Again. :)

Batang kyut.

Becky fact#5: I am so naming my kid Mitsurugi Wins! (or...Talim Wins!) yes--take note...two names, with exclamation mark

Some things never change. EVER

whadahell? (refugees at the LOOF elevator)

your favourite striploin steak on the haus!

my roommate for the conference, from batch #$%%--wahaha

(Indonesians, Thais, Vietnamese, Singaporean, Laotian, Pinoys) After four years of makeovers, graduate school, failed and miserable love lives plus stories to tell-- they're now reckless, underpaid, all-star professionals (underpaid, except for Alwin...hmmm)

after double booking conferences, barely making it to dinner, a killer headache and frozen limbs and shoulders, migraine girl whips up her non existent 'look very focused' smile. this turned out to be her best 'clueless' pose.

Yeah, our Malaysian, Burmese (obviously), Cambodian and Bruniean friends couldnt make it. well, there's always next time.

*will post pictures taken four years ago, and you'll definitely get what i mean

SIF ASEAN Alumni Conference

Presenting...batch 2003

first night: night cap, teh tarik and kopi-o, of course.

ours was well represented

CHIJMES. We sneaked in. We tried.

sinong matapang?? :)

caged-blues @ LOOF (oh...sounds familiar)

and we're back!

P.S. Photo credit to the best Thai photographer/hobbyist and entreprenuer I've ever known--Gideon! (uh-oh...lets hope Trong is not doing anything pretty much similar. He'll kill me!)

Dearest Jan

Aside from my sister (okay, fine--and my nine other 'roommates' in my V Concepcion dormitory 'Tierra Purra' in UST), the only person whom I've shared my room with is Patamawadee Jongruk, aka Jan -slash- Ms Jalan Kelabu Asap (Im Ms Taman Warna). It was my first night in Singapore, and we were sharing a landed property (hoy, fyi--mahal yan dito, sosyal (for Jan's sake it translates: which is very expensive here, so imagine the poshness. Oh my Jan--why didn't I teach you Tagalog that time??) with eight other people from different countries across Southeast Asia.


It didn't occur to me at first that she's actually a blessing--this girl who introduced herself as Jan (because, she explains, 'my birthday is in January'), and showed me her 'Thai National Costume' that first night we stayed in one room, beds to the opposite sides. She's very 'un-stereotypical'-- will definitely surprise you. Sweet, yet tough, looks fragile, but can eat a cow (uh -oh...did I beat around the cultural sensitivity thing again? ), very motherly--but hey, she's a bitch (arent we all? hehe) when provoked. Most of all--she thought me how looks can be decieving--and that you dont need to try very hard to make everyone think you're strong and brave (and the list goes one). If you're a natural, then things dont have to be too hard.

I remember one time when I was just too tired, I talked to her in Tagalog. We were laughing all night about it. Or that time we had to accomplish a challenge which involved very hot sulfuric water and barefeet. For some reason, I felt so proud of my roommate--whoa! the only person who can stand that much heat for the longest time! I know...she's a man. :)

Or that one time I was sleeping too soundly, I cant hear her knocking on the door. They had to resort to 'extreme' measures to get me to wake up (Trong had to climb from the back of the house). Oh my, it was embarassing. funny, but gee!

It was a lot of fun, those five months. Today, Jan is doing very well, thank you very much. She's pursuing her Doctoral degree in Governance at the University of Manchester in the UK. When will we get to shop for those Wacoal Brassiers in Bangkok? Hopefully soon. If not Bangkok, Siem Reap and Phnom Penh will be just fine (hah!). I love this Jan--not only becuase we're both pretty (nyaaah), but becuase she's the best Thai roommate of all time (thats called overkill).

Take care always, Naja. Dont go 'round make those Machester boys cry. Behave! :)

Btw: pictures I nicked from Jan's blog (its in Thai!). ehehe.

Whatyasay?

It will be four and a half days of working one’s charisma, I tell you. Im starting to compile different ‘answer angles’ to several redundant (till my ear bleeds) questions, plus motivate myself so much for me to answer these questions with interest until the last day: ‘What do you think of the current situation in your country right now?’ ‘What can we do to help Myanmar?’ ‘Given that you were given this opportunity, and that the rallying point is great, will you do something about this?’ Oh blah. Why can't we settle for 'Whats up?'

Yes, folks, its called the ASEAN conference. Im attending two separate events actually--the ‘youth’, and the ‘business’ categories. One way looking at it is that it’s like a sort-of holiday: you get to sit, pretend to listen to whoever is on the microphone-- the challenge therefore is simply staying awake the whole time. Another way of looking at it is when you decide to ‘participate’—fuel some thoughts, argue, debate with speakers, or other attendees—simply put, be ‘there’—bright shiny and awake. I haven’t really decided on which decision to trod, but silly old me—say, 65% wants to get something done on the wake of these events. Especially the youth conference. I mean, c’mon—we’re all grown up now, at this point. Successful young professionals who used to be so idealistic and hopeful. Its been more than a year since the first alumni conference, we probably need to do something workable.

For the business conference—well, Im not sure. Im not that optimistic, really. Probably because I know I don’t have anything to offer to them (waw). Aside from some ‘love’ and nosebleed, I don’t think I’ll be getting anything in return anyway. So yes—the youth conference it is.

Lets see—stay awake, stay awake…stay awake.

p.s. Besides, my roomie will be back! Fresh from the fresh valleys of Chiang Mai, and the hallowed (is it really? Teehee) halls of Manchester…Patamawadee Jongruk, future Pihetsi! Will try to post pictures, pramis.

konpesyonal

Dearest Kimchi and Tere...Kisses and fwends

Nagsisisi ako. Sorry. Pabawiin nyo naman ako o, please? yung tayo tayo lang. ha? Next time. Sa Mayo.

Sorry ulet. Hay. But then again--okay na.

babawi ako.

Effort!

Super natawa ako. Was cleaning when I noticed that someone actually sneaked in a banner on my shelf which says 'GO CRAZY OVER JAY'. It was cheap trick, I tell you--the intruder snipped it from Jay Chou's newspaper ad. Hindi pa pantay pantay yung pagkakagupit, like the person was in haste (well obviously!). But then again, funny. Things started to get funnier when I imagined how a person actually goes CRAZY--yun naman ang nasa banner, diba? :)
So there you go, Mr Banner Guy.

Gee, you should be touched with my efforts as well.

Just when you think you can't get anymore Psychic: Rico and Rica

This is my flatmate. Yes, I wont be giving out his full name, due to the writ of habeas corpus (nice name!).
We have this 'counterpart' thing going on right now (and hell yeah, as long as we're flatmates), and it not only concerns our respective names, but the colours of our rooms, our preference for toys and the food we eat. So you can imagine, I tell you, its a good ice breaker:

Guest: hindi nga?
Rica: oo nga
Rico: no stir
Guest: rica and rico?? ano yan joke?
Rica: like susie and geno
Rico: boy and girl

It can drag on for hours, and before you know it, our guests will come home amused, thinking it was the smartest realisation next to immunity vaccinations.

The jokes can get more annoying:
'my flatmate's got a dark blue feature wall, while I painted mine pink. guess what his name is...'

Now after getting him to write a wishlist for christmas, (and violently coercing him to actually do it) he finally hangs his list on his door. Sabay sabing 'hah, may voltes v nako'. Oh...so sinunod ni Santa ang list nya. Lemme check mine again....leche, baket yun ang may check sa akin? Not following instructions, iha.

Pasko na!!

Yes--My flatmate Chito has one as well.
Pinag ninilay nilayan pa nya, kaya matagal pang ire-release.
Ma pektyuran nga.
Next!

Can I just punch your face?

Ewan ko ba,
people who point you to websites for info 'in another context' are somewhat annoying.
Not that I dont do that(point to websites, not annoy), but I only do so after being asked the proverbial question 'saan mo nakuha yang info na yan?'
then I direct them to websites.
Or if I sense that such person is not using the internet regularly, then I'd say 'na check mo na ba sa website nila, internet?'

What I would like to point out that although it's not yet a given, there might be a bit of courtesy involved if you'll ask the person first--'ni-google mo na ba yan?' lightly. of course.

another thing which i find offending is when one directs you to a weblink obvious enough not to really solve your problem, which you have already specifically asked for a 'specific' answer

case number 1:
ako:how does one get there, really?
mukhamopretty:well, this (website--okay...lets call it streetdirectory.com--whf!) is helpful. here's a link to the place...blah blah...helpful...blah

ngayon, bibigyan moko nang website, na very likely na alam ko. It contains a map, and categorical directions on how to get there. I can actually take a bus (i know!),and take a 2 day trip to get there. I mean, helloo---nde ba obvious, Im asking for a 'localised' direction, something which you yourself will take.
toink toink.
Dont you think its easier have you just commented on which is the nearest mrt station, and what bus to take from there?

Does your freakin' website tell you which is the nearest mrt station?? hinde. (gigil)
it gives you a map--like you want to go there on foot.
as if you own a freakin' car,and that as if you and your freakin' car will want to go there, really.

Then again I wont forget how I supressed all that gas and laughter when a certain someone gave me advise on how to 'get scholarships' (for pete's sake)

He said: Ganito, type mo 'to... 'www.google.com' tapos may search bar don, yung rectangle na may blank...'

Bawal tumawa.

Egad, ze chef!

For some reason, I feel very proud of this baon of mine,

which I cooked, by the way. Beef chips with asparagus and leeks

rehashed in olive oil and a bt of garlic

didn't expect na masarap kse sya

orgasmic in every bite

perhaps it helped that the beef was of this expensive sort (not kobe, the other on..anu ba yun?)

cooked it right away.

So, ayun.
yun lang.

things Ive learned last Friday: seryosong bagay ang mass media. seryoso

Ewan ko ba.
Last Friday, Ive decided to brave the sweltering heat (naks, heroic),
And proceed to the HSSML Library over at Biz School to borrow this book on Media transformation.Magsusulat kasi ako nang rebyu. Kelangan nang amo ko, para may-i-submit sya sa isang ka chervahan para naman madagdagan ang anik anik nya sa papel. (hah, pag tlaga naming napa translate pa nila ito nang mabuti, talagang magbibitiw na aketch. Malaki na ang kinikita nang baklitang translator nila ha).

Finding the stack/shelves were quite easy than I expected—the very one Im looking for is positioned right in front of the entrance of level 2. Now, the process of actually finding the book is tricky. Lets just say that the control code is PN5449eklat. Unlike the other stacks wherein the same letters occupy the enter shelving unit, ‘PN’ is limited to just half of a shelf. Syempre, maduduleng ka. Kainis, kse it was supposed to be a stack on media/press, which specific studies on Singapore.



According to what remains of the stack, there seem to be a ‘lack’ on writings regarding the press in this country, to the point that I can’t even get ‘another’ book instead, and cross reference. Kyut, diba?


Eto ang mas kyut…kalahati nung shelf, plus yung shelf just below ‘PN’ –on them can be found the ‘comics’ section. O diba, seryoso? Does it actually tell me ‘Iha, the topic you are pursuing is as entertaining as a comic book, kaya they’re just too close to one another’. Goody.

I am so feeling the love right now, I want to cry.

Found it!

My all time favourite. aherm. Hail to the Thai!

The post

I was actually set to post something else. Nasty piece of blind item that questions the authority of ‘technical experts’. It involves one’s astounding revelation that you can’t report that ‘you did not get a digest report’ if THERE ACTUALLY IS NO CONTENT. Now, ‘come closer (smiling broadly, actually reads: ‘hinayupak ka’)… anu sa palagay mo ang ida-digest nang sistema, kung wala kang ipini-feed…ha??ha??’

Okay, okay…enough of that.

A few videos from the Land of Smiles a.k.a. origin of my one and only ‘former’ (duh) roommate, Patamawadee.

Hay. These Thai commercials make me laugh. And cry. My fave's dated two years ago, and its an 'anti piracy ad' within the lines of 'kill bill'. Super katuwa yon. I'll see if I can unearth it from somewhere.